During a retreat with her husband, Kevin, Lucila McElroy heard speakers such as the Dalai Lama and Deepak Chopra and asked herself “is this all I am meant to be”?

“I enjoyed being a mother but I also felt as if I was on autopilot,” revealed McElroy. “Chopra talked about the role of mothers and he declared them the ‘soul of society.’ But he also said that we felt guilty about taking time away to take care of ourselves.”

She knew she wasn’t the first mother to ask herself that question. She decided to find out if other moms felt the same way. A life coach and motivational speaker before she became a mother, McElroy decided to send out a survey to friends, asking about their experiences as mothers. After looking over the surveys, McElroy formed her group. The 16 moms were a mix of stay-at-home and working moms with an important thing in common.

“These women had made business plans, but they had not made life plans,” said McElroy. “Some never even sat down and thought about their personal goals and what they wanted out of their lives, besides motherhood. Together, we realized that motherhood did not have to be our everything.”

In 2007, this group of women formed MOMentum, a support group for mothers, in Vancouver. The groups met once a month for a three-hour session. The members discussed and engaged in a range of topics, from nutrition to community activism, and hosted presentations by guest speakers.

Just as MOMentum was gaining momentum, her husband's job changed, and McElroy’s family moved to New Jersey.  The Vancouver group still meets, and, within six months of moving to Maplewood, she had already organized her first MOMentum group. There are now three.

Each group meets monthly for three hours. McElroy asks the members to make a commitment of six months to one year.

“I ask for that commitment because it builds trust within the group,” said McElroy. Two of the groups meet at the Schering Plough offices in Kenilworth and the most recently established group meets in Millburn.

“MOMentum helps me to focus on what is most important….[it] allows me three hours per month to stop, think, recharge, re-energize, re-focus or keep focusing on what is right for me,” McElroy said.

McElroy advises members to think of their meetings as important days. “I suggest that they make it a special day. Put on lipstick. Wear something besides jeans. We are working on our businesses, our lives.”

Monthly membership dues are $39, a substantial part of which is directed to charity. In the past two years, the Vancouver group has donated over $15,000 to the British Columbia Women’s Hospital and the two Maplewood groups have donated over $10,000 to Harmony Day Care in Irvington.

“Our members have done so much more than donated money,” explained McElroy. “We’ve done toy and coat drives. We have members go to the day care on a weekly basis to read books to the children.”

The group hosted Marian Fontana, author of A Widow’s Walk and the soon-to-be-released The Middle of the Bed, in a March talk held in the Maplewood library. The group also hosted Wednesday’s talk featuring Maplewood resident Dr. Jane Aronson who spoke about the world’s orphans.

While McElroy enjoys her group’s success, she continues to struggle with her choices.

“I love my life,” McElroy said. “But at times I still feel guilty when I have to run out of the house to go to work. I remind myself that I have a pretty good life. My children gave me this opportunity.”

To learn more about MOMentum, check out their Web site.