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Community Corner

Health & Fitness: A Lesson in Balance

Learning to enjoy your food and love your thighs.

Summer is quickly coming to a close. Soon enough one of my favorite places to go with the kids, the Maplewood Community Pool, will be closing. Going there with them has been getting more fun every year. 

Although I know I'm not alone in my enjoyment of the pool, I realize there are lots of folks out there who dread every skin-bearing moment they spend out by the water.

Perhaps it's because of my field, but I've noticed one thing over the years--that many people have an incredibly hard time not talking about, ruminating about, and basically torturing themselves over their body image issues. I'd say that around 80% of the conversations I have while chasing my kids through the kiddie pool (and trying to prevent them from pouring buckets of water on my head) are about how to help someone with some part of their body that they cannot get out of their head. 

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Maybe it's their tummy, maybe their tush or their arms…heck, maybe it's everything that bothers these poor souls. Mind you, I'm not complaining about these conversations. I'm actually kind of honored that people find me approachable enough to speak of these insecurities. And I'm happy to give them some tips when I'm not choking on pool water splashed in my face.

Unfortunately, though, I know that the one thing that would really help is something I can't teach in just that moment. Heck, it's something that I still work on myself every day.

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There has been many a time when throwing on my swimming trunks that I have to force myself away from the scale. The urge to weigh myself before "baring the bod" is overwhelming. Mostly, I win the battle and leave it under the dresser. I know that if I see a different number than I anticipate, I'll be wondering how fat I look that day…crazy. 

What's crazier is that this is not where my focus should even remotely be. It's fun to just be out there. The water is great. I get to see lots of people I enjoy and my kids are having the time of their lives. 

One of the toughest lessons I try to teach my clients is how to be comfortable in the skin they're in. We're not all meant to be super models. Genetics don't totally dictate everything about your body, but they certainly can make things difficult. Let's just say there isn't an exercise to make you taller, or have longer legs, or completely change your build into something you see in Shape Magazine. But you can take control of your body. You can become confident in what you have and make it look as good as possible. More importantly, you can feel better about yourself, knowing that you're doing what you can. There's power in that.

Let me tell you a little story about myself that helped me find some level of balance. Before Maplewood beckoned, we lived in Park Slope Brooklyn. I was young, basically lived in the gym, and eventually gave myself a good old fashioned eating disorder. 

I found I wasn't happy if my body fat was over 3 to 4%. If I couldn't see veins in my abs, I felt chubby. I was constantly thinking about food, craving food…dreaming about food. If I saw someone chomping down a slice of pizza on the subway I'd feel almost haughty, judging them for their weakness of enjoying food. I know…crazy. 

So, one day I arrive on Union Street and 4th Avenue in Brooklyn. I get off the train and I see the little candy bins in the window of the bodega there, selling 5 cent treats…little Snickers, Milky Ways and Peanut Butter Cups. They're literally taunting me.  I give in. 

I go in, drop a dime on the counter, and walk out with two yummy little Snickers bars. I scarf them down in about negative 5 seconds and am dying for more. I force myself away and walk up the block to 5th Avenue toward my apartment. As I near the corner, I tell myself to walk quickly past the Korean deli on the corner. No way was I going to partake in any more candies. 

So, as I fished out 10 cents more and inhaled two more little treats, the guilt began setting in.  I only made it one block and had totally caved…and I still had one more block to go!

I make it to the next corner, brazenly throw 10 cents more onto the next bodega counter, and gobble the Snickers down (I'm not even certain I took of the wrappers).

I am now certain I can feel my love handles growing steadily after my indiscretions.  I'm certain my clients will fire me for my obvious loss of will power.  Only one thing to do…work it off!

Once I get home, I throw on my running shorts and head to Body Reserve Gym. I go straight to the treadmill and go at it. I'm gonna make sure those evil chocolates don't have a chance to settle on my physique! I run like a man possessed, burn enough calories to make up for my indulgence tenfold, and leave feeling somewhat satisfied. 

So, now to the "balance" part…

I'm walking home now, and feeling more like I've taken control.  I walk right past one of the corner stores that I had not been able to resist before (scene of the crime). I look in to see a pretty heavy Puerto Rican guy enjoying a Honey Bun and an orange soda. It was a typical hot summer Brooklyn day, the music was blaring, and this guy is just having a great time. He's dancing with that cake and soda. He's smiling and laughing. His sweaty belly is hanging below his t-shirt line and he couldn't care less if you see it. He's happy. 

For the first time in years, I feel something different when I look at him. I don't feel haughty at all. I feel ridiculous. This guy doesn't care at all what you think of him. He's happy being who he is. He's enjoying food! What a revelation! So who's really happier here, me or him?  Well, that pretty obvious, isn't it? 

Now, I'm certainly not promoting a totally unhealthy lifestyle. That would be really bad for business.  I'm just saying that having some balance is a really good thing.  A treat is meant to be just that…an occasional indulgence you enjoy. Take care of yourself, but enjoy doing it. Eat healthy most of the time, but don't feel too ashamed about visiting the Village Ice Cream Parlor.

So as I sit on the side of the kiddie pool today, and I see a few rolls around the midsection as I bend at the waist to help my kids reach my head with their buckets, I try not to cringe. It's normal. I'm not 20 anymore.

And do you know who looks the best to me at the pool? The people who aren't worried about their thighs.

Tim Reynolds is the owner/operator of THE GYM ON SPRINGFIELD, a personal training studio in it's 3rd year on Springfield Ave. in Maplewood. He lives in Maplewood with his wife Suzanne, and their children August and Sinikka.

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