Health & Fitness: Spicing It Up for Valentine's Day

Okay, I'll be the first one to admit, I ain't what I was when I was 20. Add to those years all the responsibilities that pop up in life (kids, job, house, etc.) and it's a challenge to even find time to try. And mind you, I work in a gym that I own! 

With that in mind, it may be safe to say that many reading this feel the same. Also safe to assume that many of their partners in life might wish they could shave a few years and pounds and get back to some similar version of what attracted their partners in the first place. And, although nobody reading this might openly admit it, maybe we wish our partner would try a little harder in that department?  Nah, of course not! 

Heck, life is tough. And many of us in long-term, committed relationships know that keeping that "spice" and "initial spark" in the relationship is one difficult battle. Maybe it is unrealistic, but it certainly doesn't hurt to try.  

What can often happen is one person will take the lead, start looking after his or her body, get in shape, and feel a bit disheartened to see the spouse not following the lead. We often take this lack of effort as a lack of interest in keeping the other person attracted. 

Well, I've got a thought, and some suggestions, on how to get it all going again: Couples exercise. But wait a minute, how does that work? I mean, if you're a man/woman couple, don't you have different needs? And even if you're a same sex couple, you're probably not identical twins. You can come up with road blocks galore, but you might be surprised how easy this is to do. Here are a few simple rules of how to begin.

For starters, no one needs to be the expert. If you know more about yoga than your partner, you might think it'll work wonders to direct them to a more flexible centered life through your expertise. Well, think again. 

How much do you like being bossed around at home?  Not much?  Well, the same applies here. Trust me, I tried training my wife for a while. I make a living giving people instruction in just that, and it was a borderline disaster. We made a great decision this year to have one of my wonderful trainers take over. Best money ever spent.  

Your role as an exercise partner is to notice, appreciate and encourage your partner as they work for themselves, and frankly, for you!  So maybe just a "Good job!" or "You look great doing that!" will do.

Next, make sure you don't use your exercise time as couples therapy. If you need that, great. Find a professional and make some appointments. But this is not the time to discuss who should be taking out the garbage. Focus on each other and do what you're there for. 

Last, remember that this is not a competition. Often you'll see one person in a couple excel a bit faster than the other. Maybe you'll take to running easier, or you'll drop pounds faster (especially if you're a guy). Well, don't get too cocky.  Remember, you are doing this for each other and yourself.  You're probably not going to win the New York City Marathon next year, so don't worry about your pace so much, and try to enjoy a slower run with your spouse. 

Okay then, how do you start?  Well, it's probably not an awful idea to do it with others around. Maybe a yoga class? That could be pretty hot! (Especially if you're in the new hot yoga studio in the village.)  

Maybe pilates, or even weight training? Well, I'll say it never hurt a thing early in my relationship when I saw my future wife sweating it out in the gym. Several studios offer group rates, and even doubles rates for couples to share the session and make it more cost effective. Even if you just go to the gym at the same time, maybe try to share the same space, and work a bit with each other. 

If you have to have your iPod going, make sure you check in once in a while, notice each other. You might find that if you can just focus on each other for even a minute, those trivial things that take over life might not matter so much.  And you might notice something else, too—that you still find a little something about each other that lights your fire!

Tim Reynolds is the owner/operator of THE GYM ON SPRINGFIELD, a personal training studio in it's 3rd year on Springfield Ave. in Maplewood.  He lives in Maplewood with his wife, Suzanne, and their children August and Sinikka.