MMS Assembly Confronts Bullying — and Beyond

Many New Jersey schools are scrambling to comply with the , but Maplewood Middle School took an approach that went well beyond meeting legal requirements at a schoolwide assembly on Thursday, Sept. 22.

As Principal Jeffrey Truppo told the students, "We're not just here because there's a law. We're here because it's the right thing to do."

"Because not thinking about it hurts other people."

Administrators had already engaged students — certainly many of the girls — by playing Taylor Swift's "Mean" over the sound system as they entered.

Then they brought in the star power.

Assistant Principal Karla Ridley used her personal connection with Olympic athlete — and South Orange native — Hazel Clark (Columbia High School Class of '95) to bring the track star to MMS for the assembly.

Clark wowed the students with her poise, impressive accomplishments and remarkable personal beauty. The children were clearly awed by a video that showed how Clark had grown up nearby in circumstances similar to their own and had achieved greatness as an athlete — racing all over the world, in three Olympics and earning six national titles and five NCAA titles. For the past 10 years, Clark, who now lives in Knoxville, TN, has been a professional runner sponsored by Nike and appearing in advertisements.

Growing up in South Orange, Clark said, "I never thought I'd see myself on a billboard in Times Square."

Clark told the students that she was not a part of the in-crowd as a middle schooler. She said she had skinny legs and "not the best hair." She herself had experienced bullying, but, she said, she never let it bother her. She felt that her mother had helped her build strong self-esteem. Clark also said she had surrounded herself "with people who made me feel good about myself."

Clark noted that bullying — whether from the bully or for the one who is bullied — is often "a reflection of how you feel inside." She urged students to "talk to someone — a parent, an administrator." She asked students to speak up on behalf of other students whom they see being bullied and also gave this advice: "Never let anyone take your dreams away from you."

Clark was met with thunderous applause from the students.

Afterward, Ridley led a panel discussion about harrassment, intimidation and bullying that featured students, teachers and administrators.

The group talked through several scenarios — at first trying to differentiate between what was or wasn't a violation of "HIB" (an abbreviation for "Harrassment, Intimidation and Bullying" that has become shorthand for the new law), and then running through how they might or might not react, or how they should or should not react in certain circumstances. A big point of conversation concerned what to do when someone cuts in front or you — or another student — in the cafeteria line.

One student panelist spoke about how bullying can lead a victim to act out and perhaps become a bully herself. The girl said that she had been harrassed by other students for the way she spoke when she had first arrived from Haiti. "I got into trouble when I reacted the wrong way," she said. "I should have talked to someone."

Teacher Kevin Smith credited her for speaking up. "If you can turn it around, more power to you."

Wrapping up the panel, Ridley talked of forming an anti-bullying club and continuing to brainstorm with students, teachers and administrators on other ways to promote thoughtfulness about how they treat one another.

Earlier in the assembly, school social worker and "Anti-Bullying Specialist" Beth Giladi reinforced the broad scope of the school's mission on anti-bullying: "My job is to work with you to find a way to be kind and be comfortable."

Truppo acknowledged the challenge and opportunity of the new law to the students: "We are learning with you, but there is a guiding principle. If we have a conversation about how we treat each other and we think about how we treat each other, we won't have to worry about HIB."