Mothers Group Lends Support

Crib or bassinet? Swaddle or cover lightly? Soothe to sleep or cry it out? A new baby brings joy and challenges, and child-rearing advice doesn’t agree on much. Locally, however, there’s strong sentiment that membership in Mothers & More is as valuable for a new mother as sleeping through the night.

Kristi Zybulewski, co-leader of the organization in South Orange/Maplewood, is proud that hers is the nation’s largest chapter. With some 500 members from several neighboring towns, Mothers & More is an active force in the community.

Internationally, Mothers & More, which was founded in 1987 by Joanne Brundage, is a non-profit membership organization that “cares for the caregiver.” The 7,500 members use Mothers & More as a support organization to allow mothers to meet and network. In addition, the organization strives to “raise awareness about the fact that mothers live and work in a society that presents significant barriers to their ability to succeed as women, citizens, parents or participants in the workforce.”

Locally, many women join either when they move to the community or have a first child. Susan McAbee joined when her first child was 3 months old. “I tell every mother I know about Mothers & More because it has been so good to me,” says McAbee. “When I started, I would go to the new moms’ coffee and meet with other tired and sometimes frustrated moms with their babies. It was amazing to share my time and so much information, and sometimes just comfort. We usually had people with babies a bit older and a bit younger than mine, so I could always see and talk about what was coming next with moms who were
going through it and help people who weren’t as far along as me. So many times I would have an issue and someone there would be able to help me find a different approach.”

The local chapter offers nearly 30 committees and activities, and general meetings are held on the fourth Wednesday of each month at Winchester Gardens in Maplewood. A popular ongoing activity is the Intergenerational Playgroup, where toddlers and seniors meet for a craft and playtime at Winchester Gardens. The Care Committee is also important; its mission is to provide help—often in the form of a home-cooked meal—to a member who needs support due to illness, childbirth, or other family events. Over the past several years, book groups, gourmet cooks and bunco players have grown from member interests.

Judie Hurtado, a member and frequent Patch contributor, began a group of her own from within the membership. “I did establish a group called Moms Without Moms. It's a support group for those of us who have lost our moms,” recalls Hurtado.

In past years, members have gathered to craft, study languages and discuss environmental issues in the home. Even those who don’t often make it to the meetings can benefit.

McAbee says, “I don't go to a lot of the in-person activities, but the e-loop has been invaluable… Right now, there is a big thread on how to deal with temper tantrums, which is great. Every one of the moms on the list has their opinion and their approach to being a mom and it helps me so much to hear how they do things and decide if that is something I think will work for my sons and me. I am a better mother for it.”

Likewise, Hurtado writes often for the chapter’s newsletter. “I feel the group is an amazing resource where you can reach out to ‘strangers’ and yet you trust the information that you are given back,” she explains. “I find many people join as soon as they move to town since it's a great way to get connected and find out what is going on in the community.”

Zybulewski sees the ongoing interest in the chapter similarly. “My two cents is this,” she says. “Many of us don’t have family in the area. It does take a village to raise a child, and Mothers & More provides that community, that sense of connection.”

She adds that Mothers & More isn’t limited. “It’s for the whole woman,” she
explains, citing the many interest groups as examples. “It’s very rewarding.”

South Orange/Maplewood Mothers & More will host its annual Friendraiser on Wednesday, Nov. 4, at 8 p.m. The silent auction event will take place at Les Saisons Inn, 304 Elmwood Ave., Maplewood.

Mothers in the community are invited to attend the free evening out to meet other moms, learn about the group, enjoy light food and drinks, and bid on items donated by local businesses. All are welcome to attend.