When I was younger, I loved change. New music, TV shows, clothes, people, and experiences made life interesting. But something happened to me when I became a parent, and now change has taken on a different meaning. 

When my kids transition to new stages it’s a reminder that they’re getting older — which leaves me feeling ancient and yearning for time to slow down. 

The end of the school year is always bittersweet. I’m excited for summer but can’t believe another year has passed and it’s time to move on. All three of my boys (ages 11, 8, and 5) are graduating to a new school next year. They are all psyched for the next step in the road, but I‘m having a tougher time on this journey.

My little one is leaving preschool for Marshall and can’t wait to get on that bus and chow down on hot lunch in the cafetorium. My middle guy is leaving Marshall for Jefferson, where he’s looking forward to walking to school and football at recess. My oldest is headed to Maplewood Middle School (gulp) where he will have more independence, widen his circle of friends, and finally get a cell phone so I can keep track of him when he walks home through town.

Part of me is proud of all they’ve accomplished and grateful they are anticipating the moves with eagerness and enthusiasm, rather than anxiety and dread. So far, they are well adjusted, happy, and feel safe in their environment.

I’ve been eagerly waiting for the day I don’t have to drive preschool carpool anymore — and can stop paying those hefty bills. I’ll have three kids in school for a full day so I’ll be able to focus more on work and getting my house in order. But that also means my baby is now a big boy. Diapers and naptime are officially behind me, and I’m transcending into a new stage of parenthood.

There’s a twinge of melancholy that they are closer to becoming young men and won’t need me in the same way anymore. While I used to be their first choice for board game opponent and movie and cuddle companion, soon my status will be downgraded to chauffer and personal chef.  

I’ve noticed that my eleven year old is not sharing as much of his social life with me as he had in the past. It’s completely age appropriate and an essential part of growing up. I thought separation anxiety was just for kids.

This uncertainty has only been exacerbated by the spring fever attitudes. With very little homework and so many year-end events and late sports games, it’s been difficult to follow our routines. The older boys want to be with their friends from morning till night. And I’m hanging on for dear life.

It didn’t help that Oprah ended her talk show after 25 years. How will I live my best life now, without her reminding me to appreciate what I have? Then Meredith Vieira left the “Today” show, which I have watched every morning since I was old enough to remember. Sure I can get my news and outfit inspiration from Ann Curry, but it’s just not the same.

I also found out recently that “Carpool Candy” is going on hiatus as the Patch sites evolve. I’ve been sharing my feats and foibles with readers for almost two years and it’s been a wonderful outlet.

I enjoyed the sense of community the column gave me every time a Maplewood or South Orange neighbor commented on something I wrote.  I also appreciated the opportunity to document some of my parenting challenges, kid escapades and family outings for posterity. Although I will be writing other news and feature stories for Patch, I’ll miss doling out the Candy each week.

But I guess all good things must come to an end, and this is my cue to keep growing as a writer and a mom by expanding my horizons.

I don’t want to lose touch with my loyal readers so I’ve decided to take a flying leap into modern social networking. I have opened a Twitter account: @carpoolcandy. I hope that you’ll follow me there this summer as I figure out my next move. But give me a few weeks to learn how to Tweet. I’m not so tech savvy…and slow to adapt.