This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Community Corner

This Kid Is All Right

A movie review from a lesbian mom who knows.

I had already seen The Kids Are All Right in New York City. I didn't know when, if ever, the film would make it to a local theater, so my partner, Gabriella, and I booked a sitter and made a night of it just so that we wouldn't miss this theatrical depiction of gay family life.

We were shocked that the movie wasn't playing anywhere near Maplewood
or South Orange at that point. Doesn't Focus Features know that there are more gay families per capita in our fair towns than anywhere else in the tri-state area? Ok, that is a fabricated statement, actually, but it could be true. . .

This film is getting a lot of attention because the two talented and beautiful A-list actresses, Annette Bening and Julianne Moore, play lesbian mothers Nic and Jules to Joni (Mia Wasikowska) and Laser (Josh Hutcherson). This is the first time in a mainstream Hollywood film that lesbians are the main characters.

Spoiler Alert for those of you who haven't seen the movie.

My quick synopsis is this: Two teenage siblings contact their sperm donor father. Lesbian moms, teenage children and Sperm Donor Guy start hanging out. Meanwhile the lesbian moms–despite their fabulous house and master suite bathroom extraordinaire–are wading in the stagnant waters of neglected marriage and ignoring the tell tale signs of love gone stale.

Lesbian mom Jules (Julianne Moore) connects with Sperm Donor Guy. Lesbian mom Jules and Sperm Donor Guy have an affair. Then the you-know-what hits the fan, after a lovely dinner of sustainable farmed food.

While the story itself is nothing revolutionary, the lesbian factor does provide an interesting angle to the typical affair scenario. Annette Bening is both self-absorbed and caring while Mia Wasikowska's lip quiver at the end of the film is enough to launch a thousand tears.

I went to this movie with some straight friends, and we had a Q & A afterwards about a number of issues that plagued heterosexual movie audience members. This second viewing was especially interesting because I saw the movie here in South Orange at SOPAC. After the movie, we were able to break it down and focus on some of the questions that have plagued many a heterosexual viewer.To wit:

Straight Friends: How many vests do you own? Is that standard issue?

Lesbian Couple Answer: I have no vests. While it's true that Nic (Annette Bening) had a vest for every occasion, my wardrobe is more frumpy mom than Laurel Canyon lesbian.

Straight Friends: Why does a sour lesbian relationship look better than a bad straight relationship?

Lesbian Couple Answer: I can't think of anything worse than being ignored. As I say to Gabriella while she's trying to watch Top Chef, "Ssometimes negative attention is better than no attention at all."

Straight Friends:  In the movie, Jules had an affair with a man.  Were you confused or disturbed by the fact that a lesbian would have an affair with a man?

Lesbian Couple: Absolutely not. She had an affair. The fact that she slept with a man is irrelevant.

Straight Friends: Agreed.

Straight Friends: That house was beautiful. I should have married a lesbian.

Lesbian Couple: No, you should have married a doctor.

I accosted a married heterosexual couple after the movie to ask them their opinion for my Patch review. We agreed that the movie was more a lighthearted look at marriage and family in general than it was about lesbianism or gay families.

We agreed that The Kids Are All Right was a feel good movie about families growing up, growing apart and finding their way back to each other.

"Thanks so much for your thoughts," I said. "May I take your names for my article?" "Oh no," the wife answered. "I teach kindergarten."

Did her concern stem from whether or not parents would discover that their kindergarten teacher takes in an occasional movie? Surely, parents and school board members would not take issue with the fact that she and her husband chose to see a film about a family with two mothers.

However, I spent an entire evening with straight friends who were happy to be quoted in my review regardless of their public occupations. Am I a paranoid lesbian? Call me what you will. I'm okay with that. In fact, this kid is all right.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?