When I was younger, I loved change. New music, TV shows, clothes, people, and experiences made life interesting. But something happened to me when I became a parent, and now change has taken on a different meaning. When my kids transition to new stages it’s a reminder that they’re getting older — which leaves me feeling ancient and yearning for time to slow down. The end of the school year is always bittersweet. I’m excited for summer but can’t believe another year has passed and it’s time to move on. All three of my boys (ages 11, 8, and 5) are graduating to a new school next year. They …
My seven year old, Aden, is doing his own version of the Hokey Pokey lately. He’s got one foot in the preteen world, and the other in Lego and Dora-land. Trying to keep up with his 11-year-old brother, and still connected to his 5-year-old brother, Aden is knee deep in middle child syndrome. It’s a rough struggle to watch. Part of the challenge of parenting is discovering who your kid is. Even if you think you’ve figured out your first one, the second’s unique personality makes rearing him or her a totally different experience. My oldest, Jacob, has always been mature, self-confident and …
He’s baaaaack. I should have known to expect him, considering the spring temperatures and busy ball fields. He sneaks up, catching me unprepared…then lingers for hours, like an oblivious, uninvited guest at a dinner party. It’s your friendly, neighborhood ice cream man. He’s deceiving: luring children in with his carnival music and colorful posters advertising products that are technically considered food, but have enough dye and preservatives to live in your freezer until your toddler graduates high school. Sometimes he’s brazen enough to show up at school, but he’s also figured out …
The obsessive coverage in the days leading up to the royal wedding was a bit much, even for a news junkie like me. I was not particularly interested in endless speculation from royal “insiders,” hour-long specials on Kate’s childhood, and network anchors trying on giant hats. I avoided most of that, but I was eager for the big day — even if I had to get up before the newspaper delivery person to see it. I remember my parents waking me up in the middle of the night to sit bleary-eyed in front of the TV, watching the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer. I was 13 and hadn’t quite …
If you know me at all, you know I’m a talker. I’d like to think I’m also a listener but when it comes to my kids, it’s been difficult to find a balance. My children’s chatter either comes in gushing waves or meager dribbles. My boys (ages 5, 7 and 11) have gone through many talking turns. When they were babies, I was so eager for them to babble I hung on their every noise. Then came the mind-numbing toddler period when they understood everything but were not yet able to articulate needs and ideas so they just screeched at me all day, as if their muteness was my fault. I yearned for them to …
Recently, I was serving my boys dinner when my seven year old, Aden, asked me for ranch dressing for his carrots. I placed the bottle right in front of him while he chitchatted with his brothers. The dressing could not have been more than six inches in front of his face when he asked for it again. Perhaps he didn’t see it among the olive oil, barbecue sauce, ketchup, and other condiments my children require to get through a meal. But more likely it’s because he just wasn’t looking. When he asked me a third time in an exasperated tone that only a mother could love, I told him I didn’t know …
Is it wrong for a 42-year-old mom to love Justin Bieber? Okay, maybe 'love' is too strong. I’m not standing starry-eyed outside the stage door awash in purple and clenching an autograph book…. but I gotta admit, I really like that kid. I took my boys (ages 11, 7, and 5) to see his new movie — “Never Say Never” — last weekend. Happily donning my 3-D glasses, I tapped my feet, sang along and enjoyed it every bit as much as they did. The documentary focuses on this adolescent Canadian — just oozing with talent and charisma — as he becomes a worldwide superstar in a few short but busy years. The …
There’s a great Yiddish proverb: Man plans and God laughs. In my family it goes: Mom plans, and kids laugh. This was evident last week on our annual trip to Florida to visit the grandparents. We’ve made this trek to the Sunshine State many times so I’m always looking to make it exciting and different. I logged hours on the computer, researching West Palm Beach and Key West, where our families live. I printed out copious notes gleaned from travel articles and tourist websites and consulted our Key West hotel concierge several times to ensure we had the best activity options and online …
As an adolescent girl sitting around my best friend’s basement, listening to Meatloaf and yakking about boys, I always wondered if they were talking about us somewhere too. Being the mother of three sons (ages 11, 7, and 5) has provided me with a unique experience on “the other side.” However, I might have gotten my fill of fifth grade boys after hosting a sleepover birthday party recently for my oldest, Jacob. I must admit, it was all my idea, so I can hardly complain. Some may think 11 is too old for a traditional birthday party, but I say celebrating is what keeps us young. Jacob was …
Don’t spread this around, but I am not a football fan. My husband and three boys (ages 11, 7, and 5) love the game at both college and pro levels, making most fall and winter weekends a marathon of punts and passes. I have never understood the game or the point of watching gigantic grown men in tight shiny pants pummel each other over pigskin. But, I live in a high testosterone zone so I let them have their fun. You can see how it’s hard for a football flake like me to get excited about the Super Bowl. But I do love a party and the one we went to last weekend at the Maplewood home of our …
I was okay with this winter’s first few snowstorms. There was the big one over the Christmas break that was a nice diversion for the kids. Then there was that first snow day and two delayed school openings that were inconvenient but necessary, as travel conditions were treacherous. But last week’s blizzard seemed a bit much. Wednesday morning the meteorologists seemed confused by the heavy flurries I saw outside my window. It wasn’t supposed to start snowing hard until the late afternoon. So I dug out my car and shoveled the driveway to take my five year old, Eli, to his preschool in West …
I’m not sure what’s going on with me lately but I keep finding myself overcome with emotion—sometimes over the silliest things. I see something on TV or even hear a song on the radio that unleashes feelings so quickly it’s as though I’ve been holding the tears back all day. It starts with a lump in my throat and watery eyes, but then embarrassment kicks in and I try to fight off a full-blown crying jag. I am not depressed or sad, mind you, just a big ol’ sap. I regularly cry at the most obviously manipulative commercials. I can’t remember the last time I got through the “Today Show” or “Oprah…
Negotiations have begun. My fifth grader, Jacob, is dying for a cell phone. My husband and I have made it clear that the earliest he will get one is sixth grade. He’s already claiming his sixth grade year starts in June. I was hoping to hold out as long as possible. I’m trying to determine why I’m so resistant. Part of me thinks a child doesn’t need a cell phone. I certainly managed to grow up without one. I actually took public transportation to and from school in downtown Chicago every day without so much as a “C u soon!” text message. Are times so different now in terms of our kids’ safety…
It was bound to happen. I’m raising three fearless bruisers whose idea of fun is building pillow forts on top of furniture to see how high they can jump. So when we heard the bloodcurdling cries from the basement where my boys (ages 10, 7 and 5) were playing football, we knew this was no ordinary dispute or injury. My seven year old son, Aden, dragged himself upstairs with giant tears flying out of his eyes like a Charlie Brown cartoon. His wails were not the usual indignant crying because his brother wouldn’t let him have a turn or beat him in a game. This was a guttural, persistent cry, …
I'm not sure when you can officially call someone an old friend, but when you're still choosing to spend time together after more than twenty years, it's safe to say the friendship is solid — and, somewhere along the line, we got old. We rang in 2011 last weekend with a group of my husband's old pals — a few he's known since junior high school, and a bunch he's stayed close with since college. At the University of Michigan, he joined a fraternity and met a crew whom I'm certain will be our friends as long as we're all around to talk, tease and watch the Wolverines play football. All of the …
I am not a Type A person. Sometimes I aspire to be one — someone who strives to have everything just right. But I learned early on not to set myself up for failure and to enjoy life's journey, instead of scheduling every moment. I have also learned that while I don't insist on order in my life, I am a sucker for tradition. I must have inherited an extra sentimental gene because I am the first to relive memories of the past and always try to create traditions for my own family now. We take established trips to see the grandparents in Florida in February and my brother and my husband's family …
My mailbox has been teeming with holiday cards from friends and family. At first, I eagerly ripped through them, excited to see the pictures and styles. But as the cards continued to pour in, I stopped opening. It was passive-aggressive resentment aimed at all those more organized than I, who managed to get them out on time. It's a hectic season: gift buying, house decorating, party hosting and attending, and school festivities. I try to remember all those I should tip, and make cookies to thank teachers, bus drivers and car pool buddies. And through it all, cards keep appearing in the mail …
As my kids get older, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to come up with original gift ideas for the holidays. My five year old is still thrilled with new markers and an Ugli doll but pleasing my seven and ten year olds is more of a challenge. As I’ve said before, they don’t need much but we always have to come up with a long list to satisfy the relatives. While parents can sometimes get away with new sneakers or books, grandparents want that “WOW!” reaction when the darlings break into their booty. It’s hard to find WOW presents year after year—especially with three boys, as …
Every December, I ask my kids to make a wish list for holiday gifts. Last year, I made the colossal mistake of passing all the good stuff on to grandparents, aunts and uncles. This left me guessing about other loot my boys would enjoy. That didn't go so well. After several nights of exasperated grunts, moping and tears, I was hurt and furious that I exhausted myself shopping and wrapping until the wee hours so my unappreciative children (ages 10, 7, and 5) could be….disappointed. They were ungrateful for the material things they did receive and entirely missed the spirit of the celebration…
Our brood recently returned from ten days in California. It was a great trip, but I hesitate to call it a vacation because we spent the entire time with extended family. We strutted down the Hollywood Walk of Fame, rode Disneyland’s Thunder Mountain, were amazed by the Universal Studio tour, and shot rockets at the California Science Center. We exercised, cooked, read, watched TV, and saw a movie. It was a blast, but not exactly relaxing. Like many families, mine spends Thanksgiving the same way every year. We are grounded and comforted by our traditions. But when you repeat the same …
